On the road...

Well, in just a few hours, Brent and I will go on our first road trip together. We went to Tofino in May, but were accompanied by Craig and Heather. This time, my dear friends, it will be just me, him and Dark Vader.

We will be visiting his family in Quesnel – I think it’s somewhere near Yellowknife? Anyway, it will be my second time meeting his parents and the first time meeting his brother/sister-in-law/nephew. Wish me luck. I don’t think his brother believe in fairies; I think he steps on them. Yikes! Nonetheless, I am excited to meet them. At least by tomorrow, they’ll know that I’m real.

PS: I’m extra excited because Brent is going to take me cherry-picking!

A Couple of Lunatics

In the Marketplace at PNE, Brent and I came across a small booth that sold these interesting necklaces with glow-in-the-dark pendants. Its severe tackiness drew us to the table.

Each necklace has a pendant that contains an image of how the moon looked on the day you were born. After groping each other, the lady asked if we wanted to check out our moons and we said yes.

We looked at Brent's first. His birth chart showed a waning crescent moon; the stage before the New Moon.

My birth chart showed a waxing gibbous moon; the stage before the Full Moon.

If you look closely at the drawing, you will see that he completes me.

(altogether now: "When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amo-reeeee."

Oh what a night.

Brent and I went to the PNE last night. I’ve been going to the PNE for the last couple of years and usually the highlight of the night would be the mini donuts. This year was definitely different. The highlight of the evening was being with Brent who held my hand the entire time.

We went to the Marketplace and visited all of the booths, including the secret scientology booth. Brent tried the ‘Stress Test’. He had to hold onto these Chef Boyardi cans which were hooked up to a little machine. You are supposed to think of someone/something and the arrow will indicate your stress level concerning your thought. I think the guy was annoyed because instead of just doing the test, Brent was trying to solve and beat the test. The test was really dumb. I wanted to throw the cans at the guy.

We missed the Superdog show but that was okay because we were busy playing some of the games. Brent won me one of those ‘annoying things’ – it’s so adorable, I love it! We had a little argument about the bum but whatever. Just because I think it looks scrumptious, it doesn’t mean I want to taste it! That’s gross. :P

Anyway, there are all sorts of little stories I can write about last night but I’ll leave it up to your imagination. Just add perfection and a barrel of laughs.

I had such an awesome time. Nothing beats sharing mini donuts with the person you’re meant to be with.

Thank you for last night. I love you.

What a wonderful time...

Well we decided to go down to the PNE last evening and I have to tell you, it was magical. So many people everywhere and things to see and do, but most of all it was because of the person I was with.

You see, when you go to a place like the PNE with your friends, its a fun day of rides and games, but when you go with your fiance its a day of dreaming about that house you'll both one day live in, its seeing couples with kids and being thankful thats at least a few years off, but then also thinking about that future family. Its a day where you both laugh at all the stupid infomercial stands, but secretly know that you both want to buy it. Our house is going to be full of junk!

Oh dear.

Well anyway, last night was great. And my wonderfull fiance also won me a stuffed animal... sort of. Its not really an animal, but I'll explain that later. So we are walking through the maze of venders calling to us to try our luck and laughing and ignoring most, but then we come to one where this guy is pumping in coins, the object is to have the coins you fire in build up enough to push the winning tokens off the ledge... maybe you've seen it? Well anyway, we watched for a bit and this guy couldn't catch a break, and after at least $20 in the machine he still hadn' t won. And then this other girl comes up plays the machine right next to his and bam! She wins right off the bat.

Well this gets us interested and we call the guy over. We pay for our 15 coins and decide that I should play first. Well I did knock down several coins, but no prize token... oh well.

So we walk around for a bit and I can tell that you-know-who really wants to play, so we head back, pay up once again, and my wonderful fiance sits down... I helped by holding the stop button (if you know the game its a strategy, but it doesn't really matter for now), and promply knocks a winning token off the ledge!!!

And to my surprise... SHE let me pick the prize, a space squirl from sponge bob square pants!!!

My fiance had won me a prize! What a wonderful girl she is!

You take such good care of me, I love you. ;)

Hooked on a feeling.

Can I remind you how awesome my fiancé is? We had a heart-to-heart chat the other night and I asked him what would happen if I lost my limbs. Would he be ashamed? Would he leave me?

He said ‘no’. He said things won’t be any different. He would still take me to the beach and play volleyball, just like old times.

And I wouldn't embarrass him at all. He would still want to show me off to the world. “I want them to see your pretty face," he said.

*Swoon*

What a guy. What a great feeling to know that he would go out on a limb for me. I'm the luckiest woman alive. I love you baby.

Inconceivable...

Well I went to see the new Mark Walburg movie last night. The one about a 30 year old teacher/bartender who make it into the NFL even though he never even played college ball, and well it inspired me. Not to be an NFL player, I don't play football, but it told me that even at my age, I can still become a pro.

And so this is my announcement, my declaration:

I intend to become a professional speedo model.

I've already shaved all the hair off my body... looks and feels, well, smooth.

And if the number of people looking out their windows at me when I was practicing my walk around the neighbourhood is any indication then I'm sure to be a success!

Wish me luck!

Checklist update

Well it is almost September so I thought I'd update the checklist. We are WAY ahead in getting things done, but there are still a few we need.

August:

Paintball gun: check
Paintball outfit: check
Paintball vest: check
Sunday night volleyball: check (still need two players tho)
Monday night volleyball: check

Now then for September:

get called for work so that I can pay for all that stuff from August:

Beautiful

Do you love me because I'm beautiful? Or am I beautiful because you love me?

Wedding Checklist: August

It’s almost the end of August, which means 11 more months until the Wedding Day.

<insert thunderstorm sound effect>

According to our wedding checklist, we are ahead of schedule. August has been surprisingly good:

Stationary paper: check
Photographer: check
Videographer: check
Fr. Augustine: check

And now, new goals for September:

10 tantrums
3 rage attacks

A view of my future...

So I was over at Brent’s yesterday and he was on his computer… and let me tell you, he was having a blast. He couldn’t keep his eyes off the screen and I wondered if he would notice if I choked in my sleep.

I wasn’t feeling well last night but I still decided to come see him. Apparently, the plan was to watch him google and do funny stretches.

Oh well, next time I’ll bring a robot.

Wish me luck.

A view of my future...

So Bless is over right now and she's watching tv... Scrubs... and let me tell you, she's having a blast. She hasn't moved in like two hours and I think she might be asleep. I tried working out and doing my stretches in front of the tv, but even that didn't peek her interests...?

I did some lunges, and some squat thrusts, but nothing. I just don't get it. Sure she had a long day and is tired, but squat thrusts! I mean come on!

Oh well, I guess I'll try the robot.

wish me luck.

Starstruck

I met up with my girlfriends at Starbucks last night.

Jenn brought her wedding photos so you can imagine what a delicious time we had! Her pictures were amazing! She looked so beautiful in every picture! I swear to goodness.

While going through the pages, I remember coming across a picture with this guy wearing a blue long-sleeved shirt and I thought sinfully, what a good looking guy! Then I noticed I was standing next to him. I was a little confused until I realized that it was a picture of me and Brent! Yowzers!

I debated on whether I should post this. Brent might be upset that I didn’t recognize him but whatever, he can’t hate me because I think he’s hot.

INSTRUCTION AND ADVICE FOR THE YOUNG BRIDE

by Ruth Smythers
Published in 1894
Spiritual Guidance Press New York City


To the sensitive young woman who has had the benefits of proper upbringing, the wedding day is, ironically, both the happiest and most terrifying day of her life. On the positive side, there is the wedding itself, in which the bride is the central attraction in a beautiful and inspiring ceremony, symbolizing her triumph in securing a male to provide for all her needs for the rest of her life. On the negative side, there is the wedding night, during which the bride must pay the piper, so to speak, by facing for the first time the terrible experience of sex.

At this point, dear reader, let me concede one shocking truth. Some young women actually anticipate the wedding night ordeal with curiosity and pleasure! Beware such an attitude! A selfish and sensual husband can easily take advantage of such a bride. One cardinal rule of marriage should never be forgotten: GIVE LITTLE, GIVE SELDOM, AND ABOVE ALL, GIVE GRUDGINGLY. Otherwise what could have been a proper marriage could become an orgy of sexual lust.

On the other hand, the bride's terror need not be extreme. While sex is at best revolting and at worse rather painful, it has to be endured, and has been by women since the beginning of time, and is compensated for by the monogamous home and by the children produced through it.

It is useless, in most cases, for the bride to prevail upon the groom to forego the sexual initiation. While the ideal husband would be one who would approach his bride only at her request and only for the purpose of begetting offspring, such nobility and unselfishness cannot be expected from the average man.

Most men, if not denied, would demand sex almost every day. The wise bride will permit a maximum of two brief sexual experiences weekly during the first months of marriage. As time goes by she should make every effort to reduce this frequency.

Feigned illness, sleepiness, and headaches are among the wife's best friends in this matter. Arguments, nagging, scolding, and bickering also prove very effective, if used in the late evening about an hour before the husband would normally commence his seduction.

Clever wives are ever on the alert for new and better methods of denying and discouraging the amorous overtures of the husband. A good wife should expect to have reduced sexual contacts to once a week by the end of the first year of marriage and to once a month by the end of the fifth year of marriage.

By their tenth anniversary many wives have managed to complete their child bearing and have achieved the ultimate goal of terminating all sexual contacts with the husband. By this time she can depend upon his love for the children and social pressures to hold the husband in the home.

Just as she should be ever alert to keep the quantity of sex as low as possible, the wise bride will pay equal attention to limiting the kind and degree of sexual contacts. Most men are by nature rather perverted, and if given half a chance, would engage in quite a variety of the most revolting practices. These practices include among others performing the normal act in abnormal positions; mouthing the female body; and offering their own vile bodies to be mouthed in turn.

Nudity, talking about sex, reading stories about sex, viewing photographs and drawings depicting or suggesting sex are the obnoxious habits the male is likely to acquire if permitted.

A wise bride will make it the goal never to allow her husband to see her unclothed body, and never allow him to display his unclothed body to her. Sex, when it cannot be prevented, should be practiced only in total darkness. Many women have found it useful to have thick cotton nightgowns for themselves and pajamas for their husbands. These should be donned in separate rooms. They need not be removed during the sex act. Thus, a minimum of flesh is exposed.

Once the bride has donned her gown and turned off all the lights, she should lie quietly upon the bed and await her groom.

When he comes groping into the room she should make no sound to guide him in her direction, lest he take this as a sign of encouragement. She should let him grope in the dark. There is always the hope that he will stumble and incur some slight injury which she can use as an excuse to deny him sexual access. When he finds her, the wife should lie as still as possible. Bodily motion on her part could be interpreted as sexual excitement by the optimistic husband. If he attempts to kiss her on the lips she should turn her head slightly so that the kiss falls harmlessly on her cheek instead.

If he attempts to kiss her hand, she should make a fist. If he lifts her gown and attempts to kiss her anyplace else she should quickly pull the gown back in place, spring from the bed, and announce that nature calls her to the toilet. This will generally dampen his desire to kiss in the forbidden territory.

If the husband attempts to seduce her with lascivious talk, the wise wife will suddenly remember some trivial non-sexual question to ask him. Once he answers she should keep the conversation going, no matter how frivolous it may seem at the time.

Eventually, the husband will learn that if he insists on having sexual contact, he must get on with it without amorous embellishment. The wise wife will allow him to pull the gown up no farther than the waist, and only permit him to open the front of his pajamas to thus make connection.

She will be absolutely silent or babble about her housework while his huffing and puffing away. Above all, she will lie perfectly still and never under any circumstances grunt or groan while the act is in progress. As soon as the husband has completed the act, the wise wife will start nagging him about various minor tasks she wishes him to perform on the morrow. Many men obtain a major portion of their sexual satisfaction from the peaceful exhaustion immediately after the act is over. Thus the wife must insure that there is no peace in this period for him to enjoy. Otherwise, he might be encouraged to soon try for more.

One heartening factor for which the wife can be grateful is the fact that the husband's home, school, church, and social environment have been working together all through his life to instill in him a deep sense of guilt in regards to his sexual feelings, so that he comes to the marriage couch apologetically and filled with shame, already half cowed and subdued. The wise wife seizes upon this advantage and relentlessly pursues her goal first to limit, later to annihilate completely her husband's desire for sexual expression.

The great migration begins...

Well I went and got the keys to my new place last night and did a load of boxes in the van. In hind sight I probably should have put something in the boxes, but oh well, what can you do?

Seriously though, for those who don't know, this is my 13th move in 8 years. I know... why? Well lets just say I'm a sucker for people who need/want a roommate. I see the chance to save a bit of cash with shared expenses and I take it. So the price has been moving sometimes 3 or even 4 times in a year!

But now I'm in Coquitlam, close to Bless, volleyball and a paintball field so I won't ever have to move again... until we get married next year that is.

You may laugh, but this is all part of my master plan. For you see, when a person is forced to move 13 times in 8 years, something happens to them. They begin to come up with crazy plans to not have to move again. Mine is to get married. I know what you're thinking, but it makes sense. I obviously can't seem to keep a roommate around so unless I want to live alone for the rest of my days, then I need to lock someone into a lifetime lease. So thats what I've done. And it doesn't hurt that shes nice to look at too!

well, I'm back to packing and all that crap...

Colour Me Bad

I went paintballing yesterday and had an awesome time! Yes, even though:


1. I spent most of the time hiding behind trees, tires and Brent. Note: for only 2 seconds, he’s lightning fast!

2. Got two bruises on my thumbs from holding the gun

3. Energy zapped from holding the gun

4. Got shot on my forehead

5. Slipped into a prickly bush

6. Got frightened by the ref

7. Suffered from heat exhaustion


Brent was really great. He offered up his coupons so my brother and his friends can get a good deal. He lent me his body armour *swoon* and showed me how to use the safety on my gun *swoon* *swoon*.

I wasn’t able to see him in real action because for the most part, I hid behind the trees/tires. But after one of the games, I heard a couple of guys call out “he’s the one”. He made a record of 13 million kills yesterday. So hot.

In fact, he looked so sexy holding his gun, especially when he pointed it at me.

Twelve Months

12 more months until I start my new babysitting job.


Bless.

Bridezilla Attack!

My name is Bless and I’m a Bridezilla.

If anyone offers a suggestion, my first instinct is to stomp on it. And if they apologize, I’ll stomp on that too. I’m quite good at it. Ask Brent. Like when he wanted to buy those 500 crystal dolphins. I thought he wanted to use them as favours but no, he wants our guests to release them in the ocean.

Another time, he suggested what I should wear on our wedding day. He asked if I could wear ruffled sleeves with shoulder pads. Why, I asked. So he can break it down with me.

No wonder my knee is acting up again. Too much stomping.

There's nothing wrong with wanting to shoot strangers!

So if you don't already know, I recently started playing paintball. Now I know what you might be thinking... I'm going to become one of those people you see at the field, all decked out in camo and thinking they're in a realy war, but that isn't true.

I just like to hurt people. Physically hurt people.

Don't get me wrong, I would never just go up and hit someone, even if they deserved it. I just like to cause pain in a game where it is legal and accepted. That may seem sick, but at least I realise this about myself and I'm willing to admit it. Brent also likes to play paintball but he says its all about "team work" and hanging out with the guys.

What crap. Bring on the pain.

See you on the field,
Bless.

Naked Gun

Hi. It's almost nine and I'm bored.

Brent is too busy playing with his paintball gun. Maybe if I go commando, he will pay attention to me.

Beadworks

So yesterday Brent surprised me with two gifts! He bought me this cool software that contains billions and billions of fonts!! I tested it out last night and boy, what a rush. I love it!

The second gift is…



Just kidding Brent! I won’t tell. I won’t tell them that it starts with anal and ends with beads.

Ebayer's Anonymous...

So I recently bought a paintball gun on ebay and it was my introduction to the whole auction/bidding process. And I have to say: Hello, my name is Brent and I'm addicted to ebay.

You see the problem isn't that I really want to buy things, its just the idea that I'm getting a good deal! Do I need 500 crystal dolphins? No, but at $2 a pop how could I say no? I don't even like dolphins.

So what can I do? Well that's what this post is all about. I'm starting EA (Ebayer's Anonymous) as a forum for people who, like myself are addicted and need help. Unfortunately, the only place that we can meet is at my place and I have a small living room. Therefore, spots for the meeting will be up for auction.

Starting bid: $10
Buy it now price: $40
Auction ending: 2 days 12 hours 43 mins

*note: you can monitor this auction on ebay.com, auction # 7768543

thank you and good luck!

Bless won't play with my balls.

Well Bless and I decided to go to Wednesday night volleyball again. Its been a while, but some of the faces were familiar, and it was great fun.

We start our league play in a little over a month and I'm hoping to go to the drop in a bunch so that I can fine tune my totally rad skills. Maybe we'll get out to the beach courts again too. I love volleyball. Its my favorite sport right now. I guess you could say I think of it the same way I think of seeing Bless bend over... there's just nothing bad about it... its all good!

Well I know Bless will probably edit that last part, but hey, what can I say, the girl has a nice ass. I wish she'd wear lulu lemon pants... you know the tight ones, but she doesn't... oh well.

I like toast.

Over and out.

Boxing Day

Good news, my sweetpea is moving closer to me! No more long late-night drives into the ditch. It was starting to get annoying. Anyway, I am very excited and I think you should be too.

Thanks to all the troops at work who donated a kazillion cardboard boxes. They’ll be great for the move!

I haven’t seen his place yet but I know it’ll be the best fort ever.

Biking to work...

Well I finally did it this morning. For those of you who know, I've been saying that I would start biking to work again for quite some time. Of course, searching for a new home, colds, report cards and a hundred other things have all been ready excuses. Well no more!

This mornning I put on my earphones, powered up my mp3 player, strapped on my helmet and off I went. And thats when it hit me... the problem with biking to work...

Hills.

From where I live to where I work is constant hills. And not just one or two short steep hills either, but the worst kind, the long gradual ones that look flat when you're in a car. People speeding by don't understand why your taking so long, but the moment peddling stops you come to a complete stop! AAARRGG!

Well I won't let it bother me. It takes me 20mins in a car and only 40 mins by bike so I think that's time well spent.

Oh and I'd like to get a new seat cause the one I have is hard to squeeze into, the straps chafe, and I can't see over Bless's head when she stands up to peddle.

Tomorrow we'll see if she can get me here in 35mins!!!

The Wonderful World of Bless

Everyone's probably wondering why Brent hasn't posted in awhile. The thing is, he has been sick for the last couple of weeks. He has a sore throat and a yummy cough. And since he has to say the words out loud before he types, his cough makes it difficult for him to key a string of sentences.

Baby, please get well soon.

That means now.

Miss July

I'll miss you July.


July 2nd
Jenn’s bridal shower. Janet’s place. Risque and Relaxation.

July 3rd
Happy 7th Month Anniversary to me and Brent.

July 5th
Brent’s students’ Grad Ceremony. The Aquarium.

July 8th
Jenn’s stagette. The beach. Courtnay’s place. Mexican eats. The Caprice. Hearty breakfast.

July 9th
Gene and Jon’s wedding. Congratulations guys! You looked great!

July 15th
Chris’ birthday. Bangers and mash. Triple ice-cream crepes. Yum.

July 16th
Jenn’s bridesmaid dress-fitting.

July 17th – July 18th
Jenn and Victor’s de-stress event. Whistler.

July 19th
Jenn’s bridesmaid final dress-fitting. Pretty in pink.

July 20th
Jenn and Victor’s rehearsal dinner. Westwood Plateau and The Hazards.

July 21st
Jenn and Victor’s family barbeque. Backyard beach volleyball court and tiki torches. Brent, I want one.

July 22nd
Jenn and Victor’s wedding. Congratulations! So happy to be part of such a beautiful wedding. Thanks for the eats, treats, drinks, tears, and laughs - it was a wedding extravaganza!

July 23rd
Jenn and Victor's brunch and gift opening. The fun never stops. Mike’s birthday. Happy Birthday Mike! Waleah – your ring is gorgeous! Hi Nicole, smile please.

July 24th
My 26th birthday! Thank you Brent for the surprise birthday barbeque. I love you. Thanks to friends and family for being there.

July 29th
Hot date with Brent. Corn Maze and Drive-in movie. Pictures for proof.

July 31st
Dinner with Mike and Waleah. Let the games begin.


Hello August. Nice to meet you. Be nice.


Bless.